remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
