I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
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