like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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