My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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