I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize