you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
