Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
