Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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