i permit you to call me
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
