You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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