I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize