No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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