Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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