Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
We need a shit load of segways right now
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize