He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Panties = found
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
