You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize