so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
