Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
