I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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