He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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