So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
