its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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