what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
