If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
