I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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