the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
