dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
