We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
