My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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