Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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