I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
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