I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize