I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
COCAINE IS GR8
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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