Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
