And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
