even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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