They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
