weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
How external is "for external use only"?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
