Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She told me I should be a condom model.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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