she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
