I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
