STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
