it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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