So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
