i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
