butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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