he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Dick very happy bro
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
