Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
