she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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