I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I have fence marks all over my body
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
