when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
