your room smells of hookers.
And success
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
