you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
