so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
