i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize