do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize
