i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
