I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
