In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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