It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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