am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
