I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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