just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
